Detroit Will Miss Him

Matt Millen has finally been fired as the GM of the Detroit Lions.

Good for Matt. He finally gets what he's always wanted.

One can only assume that he wanted to get canned based on how he's run the team. Dude definitely has the experience to head up Lehman now... or enter a bunch of Dennis Farina look-a-like contests. One of them will lead to riches for him.

It's So Shiny

The Knicks plan on cutting Stephon Marbury by the end of the week.

Starbury has gotten a bad rap in New York. With only a passing glance, anybody can see what's wrong with him -- he's got an alien living in his head.

It's probably the same ones that set up shop in Sam Cassell's noggin too.

Turn and Cough

Jeremy Shockey will miss three-to-six weeks because of a sports hernia.

How did the Saints' doctors even test him for this?  Shockey rarely shows any balls on the field; you'd think he's a eunuch. 

A New Fu-Schnickens Joint Too?

Shaquille O'Neal claims that he will retire from basketball when his contract expires after the 2010 season.

Does this mean what I think it means... Shaq will finally have time to shoot sequels to "Blue Chips," "Kazaam," and "Steel?"

The golden age of the Big Aristotle on celluloid (1994-1997) can now enter the platinum era!

He Can Keep A Leprechaun And Sandwiches In The Basket

Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weiss has decided to wait to have surgery on his left knee after being inadvertently tackled by a player during the Michigan game on Saturday.



We all know Big Chazz can't wait to ride along the sideline in one of these:

El Fantasor Jugador -- Episode 2

Mexican wrestlers always spit the truth about fantasy football...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

OJ Will Find The Real Killer In Jail, Like In Shawshank

OJ Simpson's lawyers are fighting to get a racially diverse jury in his upcoming trial for kidnapping and armed robbery. 

Apparently the lawyers will not be content unless the jury is composed of at least:

2 African-American Men

2 African-American Women

3 Wiggers

A Blasian Hoochie 

3 Black Albino Pre-Op Trannies

No white women with blond hair

A Mexican Eskimo

Then, and only then, will OJ Simpson be able to have a fair trial.