Some Thoughts About Agreement

Something John Rocker and Roger Clemens agreed on in 2000: Steroids are awesome.

Something Roto Recall and John Rocker agree on in 2008: If Roger Clemens' old frosted tips rode on the 7 train they would give HIV a run for it's money. 

I Must ERG You

The Russian rowing federation has been banned for one year for juicing.

The amazing thing about this is that they didn't even have to test any of the Russians for doping; the team simply displayed the stereotypical symptom of a 'roider -- a tiny coxswain.

Daddy Hates You

Dear Hank:

Suck a dick.

Con muchos besos,
Omar




---------------------------------------

Rumor has it George Steinbrenner was so angry when he heard about this that he fired Billy Martin again and hired a stack of pancakes to manage the Yankees. Hank then proceeded to chow down on Skipper Pancakes because he eats whenever he feels fat and useless.

"Hey Ma! No Third Servings Of The Pasta Primavera For Me!"

Former Met/New National/Past Steroid User Paul Lo Duca will be out for 4-6 weeks following knee surgery he had completed earlier today.

Those guys break down pretty quickly once they're off the juice... Just compare these photos of Paulie taken last summer and last week:

John McEnroe Wants You To Poop

It's time for Roto Recall to share something with you -- I start out each day with a fresh cup of coffee and home delivery of the New York Times. It's no big deal. I like to pamper myself.

Anyway, I turned to the National Report section where I was greeted by a quarter-page advertisement featuring the disembodied head of tennis great John McEnroe shilling All-Bran cereal. The tag line? "Most People Find The All-Bran 10-Day Challenge To Be A Moving Experience."

Get it? Like bowel movements. Because bran makes you shit.

Oddly enough, old episodes of "McEnroe" made me want to do the same thing.

Headbutting Is The New 'Roiding

There have been no less than two major headbutting incidents in athletics over the past week. First Patriots defensive lineman Richard Seymour allegedly headbutted a Changers assistant coach on the sideline of Sunday's game and now professional bicyclist Elia Rigotto has been disqualified from a race in Australia for headbutting an opponent right before the finish line. (And let's be real here, they race bicycles, not cycles. If you ride a two-wheeler it's just a few steps above the local spinning class at the gym.)

There were also no less than 83 headbutts during the most recent Friday Night SmackDown!.

Somewhere in heaven Bam Bam Bigelow is smiling. And then he stops smiling and headbutts Mother Teresa... because that's what Bam Bam does best.

Donaghy Wuz Here

Former NBA referee Tim Donaghy's sentencing on two felony charges stemming from a basketball gambling scam has been delayed again until April.

Following "child molester" and "dirty cop," "former NBA referee" is the most hated pre-incarcerated profession in prison. Donaghy is really going to have watch out for those loose ball fouls in the shower.

And he should definitely sleep on his back to prevent any elbowing.