I Must Break You(r Serve)

Who here isn’t getting enormously excited for the Davis Cup finals? A little bit? Not even a smidgen of excitement? Nothing on your body moves or even twitches when you hear that the United States will be battling Russia for the tennis equivalent of the World Curling Championship?

So I guess this match should rank in the history of the great US-Russia rivalry somewhere between Boris & Natasha taking on Moose & Squirrel and that game of bubble hockey that was in every bowling alley in the 80’s.

And why do all of the Russian players look like bankers? I kind of wish they were more imposing – like Bond villains or Ivan Drago. Putin should personally give each team member a facial scar... Or announce if they lose to the Americans they’ll be put in the gulag. Though I guess it wouldn’t be too far-fetched if Cheney suggested the same to Team USA…