That golden ray of Bronx sunshine, Joe Torre, is
done after 12 years with the Yankees. He refused a contract that included a $2.5 million pay cut as well as the following shameful indiginities:
- Don Mattingly gets to make every third managerial decision.
- Team-given Blackberry replaced with a beeper.
- Chazz Palminteri would play him in the eventual ESPN mini series about the 2007 season, “The Bronx is Gentrifying.”
- Track down Don Zimmer and smother with pillow.
- Forced to clean up the bleachers after every home loss. Forced to clean up bleacher bathrooms after every home loss to Red Sox.
- Take Steinbrenner’s turtlenecks to the cleaners once a week.
- Watch “The Notebook” with George every other Friday night and hold his hand during the nursing home scenes.
- Do off-season work with the new Yankee Stadium construction crew. Not allowed to drive bulldozer.
- In place of the current untenable Giambi/Mientkiewicz/Damon situation, must come out of retirement and play first base.
- Has to stop referring to Cashman as “Jew Costanza.”
Have fun stumping for Rudy, Joe!
That golden ray of Bronx sunshine, Joe Torre, is done after 12 years with the Yankees. He refused a contract that included a $2.5 million pay cut as well as the following shameful indiginities:
Have fun stumping for Rudy, Joe!
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