Rudy for President of Red Sox Nation

“I’m not saying that just because I’m here in Massachusetts,” the Republican presidential candidate said to applause and laughs. “If I’m in Colorado in the next week or two, you will see I will have the courage to tell the people of Colorado the same thing.”

So Rudy Giuliani told reporters in Boston that he'll be rooting for the Red Sox in the World Series -- even though he's marketed himself as "#1 Yankee Fan" ever since he realized he could get free tickets as mayor of New York City. Then in order to prove his love for all things Boston (especially Mass. electoral votes), Giuliani ate a lobster roll, recited some lines from "Good Will Hunting" and got impregnated by Tom Brady.

Giuliani also listed off some other things he formerly hated, but now roots for:

-- Al Quada
-- Hair
-- A ban on divorce
-- Ferrets
-- The Bill of Rights (except the right to bear arms)
-- His colon cancer to come back so he can punk out of this race like he did during his 2000 Senate run.