Tiger Woods is shutting it down for the remainder of the golf season in order to have knee surgery and rehabilitate his left tibia. Let us take a moment to pray that none of Tiger's doctors decides to play "god" and try a cutting-edge procedure that isn't yet approved by the FDA. Because if he/she does than there is a distinct possibility that Tiger Woods could come back a bit "different." A bit "hungrier' if you will. However, his taste won't just be for victory... it will be for human flesh!
We've seen it time and time again -- New science equals zombies. And quite frankly, a zombie Tiger would be completely unstoppable. He would literally eat up the competition and scores of young golfers will beg their parents to let them be bit by Tiger so that they too can have a successful future on the pro circuit.
And Tiger's wife! His hot hot Swedish wife! What a waste she would be as a zombie!
So to all the orthopedic surgeons out there who may conduct surgery on Tiger in the next month, please just stick with the old way of repairing knees. Anything new-fangled may be the end of the world as we know it.
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