Ways To Save The Mets Season

Start playing at Citi Field immediately. The coolness factor of that place has the ability to keep fans sedated through September. There's a rotunda named after Jackie Robinson, for pete's sake! A ROTUNDA!

Let Aaron Heilman have his way and put him into the starting rotation. And once we have him out in the open, we hire an assassin from the back of "Guns and Ammo" to take care of the rest.

Invent a time machine.

Drop off Carlos Delgado at a "farm" in the Catskills. Nature will take care of the rest.

Let's have a bench-clearing brawl -- but only with Mets bench. Sure, it might look like a race war, but maybe that'll bring some passion out of the team. I think Billy Wagner would be the perfect guy to initiate this, but he'd probably blow it. 

Score more runs than their opponents do in an overwhelming majority of the remaining games. It's just a theory I have, but I'd love to see it in practice.

Play a prank on Jose Reyes and remove all of his teeth while he's sleeping. Perhaps then he'd smile less and take pitches more. 

Sign Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa. At least then things will be interesting...