C.C. Sabathia pitched another complete game last night. The following letter was slipped under Roto Recall's bathroom door last night (We need to invest in a security system):
Dear Bud:
Enough of this instant replay crap. Baseball needs something else instituted immediately.
More innings. Nine innings isn't enough baseball for me. Last night I got 27 people out on 130 pitches. Do you know what my arm feels like this morning? Think about the most marvelous boobie you've ever touched. Now double it, both in cup size and girth, and you've got my arm.
Let's give this game some cojones and up it to 14 innings, with five outs per inning. I figure then I can finally get the 260-pitch workout my body needs.
Truth be told, that's why I'm so fat. So if you think about it, I might die of diabetes or heart disease or a lamb shank if you don't super size baseball.
Yeah... Super size... I'm gonna go eat 27 of those McDonald's southern style chicken sandwiches now.
Fine, you got me. I've already eaten them and on my way to get more.
C.C.
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