Torre (K)needs Andruw?

So the Dodgers sign Andruw Jones to a $36 million two-year contract the same day that Joe Torre has knee replacement surgery? Sounds suspicious... The only scenario could have been:

JOE TORRE IS HELPING BUILD LOW INCOME HOUSING WITH HABITAT FOR HUMANITY SOMEWHERE IN THE GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA. HE IS HAMMERING SOME NAILS INTO WOOD. HIS CELL PHONE RINGS. IT'S DODGERS GM NED COLLETTI.

JOE TORRE: Hello. It's Joe.

NED COLLETTI: It's Big Ned, Joe! We've got some great news for the team.

JOE TORRE: Tell me it's Johan Santana.

NED COLLETTI: It is most definitely not Johan Santana.

JOE TORRE: Haren? Bedard? Blanton? Did the Miguel Cabrera trade get vetoed and now we got him?

NED COLLETTI: You a funny guy, Joe. You got that Giuliani jene se qua.

JOE TORRE: So what is it Ned?

NED COLLETTI: I just got off the phone with Scott Boras. We nabbed Andruw Jones for only $36 million over the next two years! Can you believe it?

JOE TORRE: One second Ned. Let me take this all in.

NED COLLETTI: Sur...

JOE TORRE REPEATEDLY BASHES HIS KNEES WITH A HAMMER AND FALLS TO THE GROUND.