Frisky Shark

53-year-old Greg Norman is second on the leaderboard at the British Open.

There is only one logical explanation for this:

Chris Evert has a magical vagina.

It must operate along the same lines as a Stargate, taking whomever passes through it on fantastical adventures that would never ever be possible in our dimension. Clearly the U.S. government must sequester the Evert vagina so that al-Qaeda can never get their hands on it.