"He Only Makes $11 Mil A Year? No Wonder He's A Hater"

Matt Ryan, the 3rd pick in this year's NFL draft who just signed a $72 million contract with the Falcons, says he sees why commish Roger Gooodell thinks rookies are overpaid.

He saw all of this on his 150-inch plasma flat screen TV. He had problems hearing it though, so Ryan had to ask his platinum and diamond-encrusted robotic butler, Tron 3.0, to raise the volume. He then set Tron on fire and bought a platinumier and diamondier robotic butler, Aloysiustoid Z, from the back of SkyMall magazine.