An Elegant Divorce

Cynthia Rodriguez has filed for divorce from A-Rod. She is accusing him of infidelity and "other marital misconduct."

There's only one thing that "other marital misconduct" could mean:

A-Rod went to the the tanning salon without her.

Meanwhile, Alex Rodriguez has enlisted the services of prominent Miami divorce lawyer Ira M. Elegant, who is also representing Shaquille O'Neal in his divorce proceedings. Ira probably has the best radio commercials in the greater Dade County area:

Are you a multi-millionaire athlete who is being accused of cheating on your wife? Then you might be an Elegant man. Does your range of mistresses range from common strippers to iconic pop stars? Then you might be an Elegant man. Do you take more joy in the failure of others than the success within yourself? Then you might be an Elegant man. Call me, Ira M. Elegant, and let's elegant your soon-to-be ex-spouses to the bone and elegantly dance on the charred remains of their lives... because that's the Elegant Way!