Keep Yer Fingers Crossed, Hank

Hank Steinbrenner says he's still optimistic that the Yankees have a shot at making the playoffs.

The Hank Steinbrenner Scale O' Optimism:

1. Lenny Kravitz sings the National Anthem for Opening Day at the new Yankee Stadium
2. Turtlenecks and plaid jackets come back into style.
3. Hank tricks George into calling him "The Boss."
4. Treat Williams is cast to play Hank in the sequel to "The Bronx is Burning."
5. A low-level team will trade the Yankees a pitcher who can't handle New York and will wind up succeeding elsewhere.
6. A fan will ask for Hank's autograph and will be disappointed that he isn't Rush Limbaugh.
7. He issues a press release firing Joe Girardi, forgetting he hasn't actually fired Joe Girardi yet.
8. Yankees make the playoffs.
9. Horatio Sanz is cast to play Hank in the sequel to "The Bronx is Burning."
10. Hank completely finishes his Sunday brunch, which consists of three orders of Moons Over My Hammy and fourteen Diet Cokes.