Roto Recall Loves Handicapped People More Than Anne Sullivan Does

The IAAF has ruled that Oscar Pistorius, the man with the bionic legs, cannot compete in the 2008 Olympics because his super-stumps give him an unfair advantage over the other competitors.

Some scientist who hates handicapped people concluded that Pistorius' bladegs (that's a word combo of "blades" and "legs") improve his performance by more than 30 percent over the other elite sprinters. Clearly, the only way to solve this problem is to turn the 100-yard dash into the 130-ish-yard dash for Pistorius.

BAM!

Roto Recall has saved the Olympics for the handicapped! Bow down your amputeed bodies at the alter that is Roto Recall. Sacrifice your prosthetic limbs in the fires of Roto Recall-ness. Give me your fetish-encrusted women and Roto Recall with satisfy them in ways that only a full-blooded and able-bodied quadruped can.

It's only fair.