Safety First

Surprised with the perceived increase in broken bats this season, Derek Jeter said, "It's dangerous. Hopefully, somebody doesn't get hurt."

Jeter went on to worry about such other dangerous and potentially hurtful things as:

• showering next to Alex Rodriguez.
• having his eyebrows plucked at an unknown & untested salon.
• eating a bratwurst in front of Hank Steinbrenner & not offering him a bite.
• having a relationship with Mariah Carey without getting tested beforehand.
• asking Sidney Ponson his thoughts on the Obama campagin.