KNOCK ON THE DOOR OF COORS FIELD.
Rockies: Who is it?
Yorvit: You know who it is baby. Let me in. It’s cold out here.
Rockies: Yorvit? Is that you?
Yorvit: You know it is, baby. I’m back. I missed you oh so bad.
Rockies: But what about the Mets?
Yorvit: The Mets? I don’t know no Mets…
Rockies: I can smell the fumes from LaGuardia on you.
Yorvit: That? It’s just my new body spray, Fumage. Now slide these gates open while I slide down my long johns and we can…
Rockies: But you don’t love me. And after everything we’ve gone through together. I put you in the World Series.Yorvit: That’s the past, baby. But the future is that I’m still Yorvit Torrealba and I still got a lotta catching to do on your ass. You ready to receive it?
Rockies: I don’t know…
Yorvit: Fine. Be a bitch about it. I’m gonna go stay with Arizon…
THE DOOR OPENS.
Rockies: No! Don’t go! Here. Here’s seven million dollars. I need you Yorvit Torrealba. I’m nothing without you Yorvit Torrealba. You are my universe dressed in tight white pinstriped pants Yorvit Torrealba.
YORVIT ENTERS THE STADIUM.
Yorvit: Fine. I’ll come back. But only because I respect you. Now go make me a spicy sausage sandwich. Yorvit has got to eat.
2 comments:
That's cute. It would make more sense, however, if the Rockies' original offer wasn't 2 years and $7 million with an option. What did he end up signing for? 2 years and $7 million with an option. It's less "jilted lover" and more "take it or leave it" that Yorvit ended up taking, isn't it?
He left it and then then Rockies still left it on the table... if they had any self-respect they would've turned it into a 2-year $5 million deal...
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